Is this it? In the few hours I had to sleep last night, I couldn't stop asking myself this question. I rolled to and fro on my bed, some moments feeling hopeful, that things should be OK again, but some moments, a piercing sense of emptiness, lonliness just pervades me. I stain my pillow, tears run amok my face. I can't stop these tears. I haven't shed tears like this since - since I broke up with Jane. I'm scared, and I'm in pain. What can I do? What am I to do next? Now, more than ever, I realize that I need you. Where are you, God? Is this what you intended? This is more than I can bear. This is more than I can bear.