Extroverted Introversions

Is this it?

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 07:52:00 GMT

Is this it? In the few hours I had to sleep last night, I couldn't stop asking myself this question. I rolled to and fro on my bed, some moments feeling hopeful, that things should be OK again, but some moments, a piercing sense of emptiness, lonliness just pervades me. I stain my pillow, tears run amok my face. I can't stop these tears. I haven't shed tears like this since - since I broke up with Jane. I'm scared, and I'm in pain. What can I do? What am I to do next? Now, more than ever, I realize that I need you. Where are you, God? Is this what you intended? This is more than I can bear. This is more than I can bear.

Requiem Lamentoso

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 01:23:00 GMT

我竭力的從我記憶中尋找麻麻這麼多年來對我說過的話﹐尋找著長者智慧的教導。不知為何﹐我記得的所餘無幾。我心裡苦苦的﹐有如失去了珍貴的寶藏一般。

我再次追思尋索﹐在我腦海中﹐仿彿浮現了無數幅照片﹐絲絲的片段。有些是從我小時候﹐還住在沙田時。有一些﹐是從我們生活裡一些點點滴滴的故事﹐溫馨的﹐耐人尋味的都有。每一幅圖片都出現了麻麻的笑容﹐讓我自己也會心微笑起來。

我畢生也不會忘記麻麻那和藹可親的笑容。

不知為何﹐但我還瀝瀝的記得二十多年前麻麻牽著我的小手去遊公園的那一幕記憶。她一步一步﹐小心翼翼的帶著我走上那仿彿沒盡頭的斜波﹐恐怕我會跌倒受傷。。。

忽然間﹐我得到了一個重要的靈感和領悟。我差不多整個人生都是跟麻麻一起生活的。超過二十年的歲月﹐當我經過喜﹑怒﹑哀﹑樂﹐成長必經的反叛時期﹐戀愛時期﹐求學時期﹐爸媽的事業高峰﹑低潮期﹐麻麻都一一跟我們渡過。雖然古語有云長者的智慧話語值千金﹐聽了及記住了一定會畢生受益無窮﹐但最令我感動和印象深刻的並不是她的一席話﹐而是她溫暖的存在 (presence)。她一直都是默默的愛著我們﹐支持和鼓勵著我們。她永遠都不喜歡跟我們分離。她一直都在那 - 那裡﹐這裡。在我們的左右。她對我們的愛是無條件的﹐而最難得的是持久的。

震撼心靈的智言慧語沒有﹐卻有感人肺腑﹐溫暖的存在。最寶貴的財富並不是所剩下的言語﹐而是真誠的愛。天堂雖是最美好的地方﹐但我自私的希望您還在我身旁。慶幸的是﹐您那笑容﹐那溫暖的愛仍深深的種在我心中﹐永不磨滅。神說的對 - 愛的確是永恆﹐永不止息的。當我會天家時﹐我會帶著這份愛的回憶來找您啊! 麻麻﹐願您安息﹐在天父懷裡盡情享受吧!

歲月流情

回望這半生　也許是場夢
年月已帶走　幾個秋與冬
淚也倦了夢也不斷轉眼逝去
生命或許是場空?

忘掉了許多　昨天喜與悲
回味每一篇　心中日記
歲月匆匆飄走　徘徊夢裡始終也是你

已失去了不必痛楚
儘管你已別離回憶更多
昨天曾經擁有跟你的片段　人生並沒難過

月兒彎光陰悄別去
明日有那熱暖暖的艷陽
一生有對或錯　回憶有你伴我走過

Burdens... or Passions?

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 23:20:00 GMT

At this very moment, I feel a deep sense of quietness inside of me. A peaceful sense of duty, a wonderful sense of security, knowing that God will be by my side and provide for me with His abundance. Its kinda funny that I feel this way though, considering what the Lord had just revealed to me. When I first heard it, I was quite overwhelmed by sorrow. I felt compassion for the revelation, and I felt remorseful too, because I feel like I didn't do anything to make it better, worse, I wasn't even aware of it. I was burdened. But as I meditated on the issues on my drive home, I felt a strong strong passion and excitement for what's to come. I know well what God had asked me to do and how I should shape up, and the change is underway. Its amazing how ever since I succumbed myself to God and truly repented of my lingering sins, He opened up so many avenues for me, and brought to light so many things that I've neglected to do previously. I know we are supposed to carry each other's burdens, but "burdens" sound like such a negative term. Now that I can manage my time better, I know God will use me towards those causes, and I am more than willing, and feel thoroughly honored to be used.

And so, rather than feeling burdened, God has enabled me to become more (com)passionate. The more burdens I receive, the more passion I need, the more I need to go to Jesus, for He will give me rest, and cause me to soar again after. Help me burn, Father.

Please don't ask what it is that I'm "burdened" about here. Know only, that I'm trying to make love the aim of all that I do... just like Jesus. Pray for me!

An Answered Prayer

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 02:29:00 GMT

Just want to note what a significant day it is in my life today. To many, this may not mean much. Some might act with envy. Others may rejoice with me - in particular my family and hunny. I myself am filled with delight and joy in how God answered my longstanding prayer - finally, a car. This marks such a huge breakthrough in my own life and my family's - if you know me, you probably knew that my family of 5 only had one car for the past 7 years we were in Canada. And since my parents and myself are in the Real Estate business now, you could imagine how inconvenient it must've been, especially for my younger siblings. But the issue that I want to give thanks for is not just about easing the inconvenience, it is the financial breakthrough that we've made in the past year or so. We've been struggling so long with money ever since we got to Canada under quite a tough circumstance, its too good to believe now that we have an extra car. But God truly is one who provides - not only for me, though. :) I have prayed earnestly for the past half a year for God to grant me an extra car. Our friday night programs consist mainly of youngsters who cannot drive yet, and so people like Joel, Theresa, Raymond, Rebecca, hunny etc. have had to take the burden to make long and ardous trips to drive people. Markham in particular was lacking rides... and now God has provided, it is my prayer that I ease these brother and sister's burdens with the car. :) Thank you Lord! This truly means so much to my family and I. May we always seek to serve your beloved people with this gift you've given us.
I really didn't mean to cause such a stir tonight when the new car arrived at church. I wasn't trying to show off. But this gift really means so much to my family and I, and I DO want the world to know how grateful I am. Once again, thank you, gracious Father. Thank you so much for a countless number of you who went the extra mile (pun intended haha) to give me a ride, especially you, hunny! I love you all!

Aspiring to be a FOB!

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 23:21:00 GMT

Wow, its been a while since I've posted any entries here... the last time I posted was waaaay back in Dec! Kinda amazing how fast time flies eh? So much has happened in the past couple of months - I'm sorry you guys missed out on all the "action"!! If you want to know, give me a shout...

I'm writing here right now because something pretty cool happened today on my way home, and I want to record it for the sake of God's glory and testament to His faithfulness. Hopefully I won't be as lazy from today onwards and start writing here more often. God's been too good to me not to share with my friends. For those of you who visit this site occasionally - you're all too nice! you should yell at me for not blogging! (except for Candy hahaha)

Anyway, I'm reading this Christian "classic" lately, called "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat". To put it simply, the whole book was pretty much derived from Matthew 14:25-32 - the incident of Peter stepping outta the boat in faith and walking on water. Today while I was reading the book and waiting for the No.2 YRT bus, a middle-aged woman walked into the bus stop and sat next to me on the bench. That was the time when I just finished reading a part that talks about discerning when God calls us to "walk on water", and the 4 possible "indicators" that will pop up to prompt us into action. One of the indicators is FEAR. "Very often God will ask us to step out of the boat at the point of our fears - precisely because He wants us to overcome them" John Ortberg writes. He goes on to say: "For instance, one of the most exciting spiritual adventures in life is helping another human being find God. What keeps us from getting out of the boat evangelistically? The number one reason is fear." At that point, the woman is just staring blankly outside the stop - the bus won't be here until at least 45 mins later! And I felt the urge from the Holy Spirit to speak to the woman. At first I reasoned "I'm a complete stranger to her, I'll probably startle her by even striking conversation...", "what if she doesn't even want to talk?", and most of all, "what if she REJECTS what I say?" and I thought to myself, maybe I should just mind my own business and continue reading until the bus comes. And so I did, and then I got to another "indicator", the indicator of compassion. God immediately reminded me of the possible eternal consequences that my lack of action could possibly bring. What if by the grace of God I talk to her, and she comes to know Christ better, if not completely? But what if i DON'T, and she never hears from a Christian ever again in her life, and she misses out on heaven? The indicator of compassion led me to overcome my fear, and i started talking to her beginning with asking for the time. God opened doors and we did not stop talking for at least 40 mins until the bus came, and even when we got onto the bus, we continued talking until she reached her stop! We talked about numerous issues - turns out she's a muslim, I should've known! She had a headscarf or whatever you call those things. We discussed the civil unrest back at her hometown in Pakistan, and the prevalent anti-americanism, and whether she thought it was because of the religious differences or political power play. I also told her I'm a Christian and stated my interest in the religion of Islam - why do they think Jesus is only a prophet? How do you relate to your God? She couldn't really answer me. I asked her what her God is like, and she said that he is a supreme being with authoritative powers. I asked her how she prays and she tells me that she prays 4 times a day facing a certain direction and saying certain words. Then by the leading of the Spirit, I was able to tell her about what I believe. I told her that we call our God "Father", and we relate to Him as such, and vice versa, and the Father loves His children. "Wow", she said. Then I told her how we pray - we don't need to pray facing a certain direction, we don't need to "religiously" pray 4 times a day. And we generally follow a pattern of praying - ACTS. A for Adoration, which means we praise God for who He is, C for confessions, of our sins and shortcomings, T for thanksgiving, for all His providence, and S for supplication, meaning to pray for others. She nodded in agreement and repeatedly said "That's nice, that's wonderful". Shortly after, I gave her my card and she had to get off on her stop. "It was nice talking to you" she said as we said our goodbyes. Hopefully our paths will cross again. If not, I pray that this short little talk has left an impact on her life and beliefs.

This marks my first time talking to a complete stranger other than in mission trips and such. I'm usually the kind to shy away from these kinda encounters. (especially when we were on the bus, people were staring at me and eavesdropping on our conversation for sure) But thank you God, you urged me to step out of my comfort zone today to serve you. And I feel the joy of just trusting you and making that one little step of faith. John Ortberg was right: only when you take the step of faith will you experience and understand the joy of "walking on water" or achieving the impossible. Thank God for this experience today - man, I want to be a FOB! A person who steps off the boat. :) I pray that I will continue to do that as God gives me more challenges to deal with.

Blame it on my youth...?

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 21:58:00 GMT

If, I expected love, when first we kissed, blame it on my youth
If only just for you, I did exist, blame it on my youth
I believed in everything
Like a child of three
You meant more than anything
You meant all the world to me

If, you were on my mind, all night and day, blame it on my youth
If, I forgot to eat, and sleep and pray, blame it on my youth
If I cried a little bit, when first I learned the truth
Don’t blame it on my heart, blame it on my youth

I really like this song - not only because i'm a hopeless romantic haha, but because it does say some truth about the passions of young people, people in my age. But my question is: Is passion only restricted to people who are young? It sure is depicted this way in movies, in music, in the popular culture. I think that when we are young, we are more driven to make rash decisions and have irrational emotions due to "love". I remember the days when I was like that as well, going head over heels for a girl, being super sensitive at every glance she throws at me, every word she utters and its implications (whether or not it was directly about me). I seemed to get a thrill about that cat & mouse sorta game...
But in many ways now, more than I thought and knew, I came to understand the irrationality of TRUE LOVE. I think the passions that are burning in me now are much stronger than the ones I had before - because now, they are calculated, made out of a deliberate intention. Jesus has called me to love. Jesus has called me to love Him, and love those who He loves. Jesus calls me to love those who are hard to love, those who are rejected, forgotten, under-appreciated. None of these things are easy, and to be honest, few of them are done with the natural fluidic inclination that Jesus did. But it must be done anyway! For the most irrational act of all time, since creation, was Jesus leaving His throne in heaven - coming onto this wretched world, not to condemn us pitiful ppl, but to humbly accept ridicule, torture and rejection by us. It does not make sense whatsoever that a King would do such a thing for creatures as pitiful as us. It does not make sense that He even had to go ALL THE WAY, onto the cross. He could've came, and used some of His majestic, Godly powers to change us over, cast miraculous spells on us so we could be sinful no more, couldn't He? But no, He went beyond the extra mile for us, onto the cross... nothing can explain such an inexplicable act other than just LOVE itself. Love. What is it? Its Jesus. Its God. Its the Spirit. Nothing could stop the irrational passion that He had for us: "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man...But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
We love, because He first loved us. We really don't know what love is. Its not merely a feeling. Not the tingly warm sensation you feel in you when you catch that flirtatious glance from an attractive person. Its sacrifice, its something that you don't want to do, but you tough it out and do it anyway, its basically acting opposite to how your sinful, selfish nature would urge you to.

I originally intended to write this journal with my hunny in mind. Often times you don't realize how much you cherish someone until they're not around...I miss you dear-lelele, hunny! I miss your silliness, your "deenness", your presence, your voice... But as I thought about love, Jesus popped into my mind. I also believe that true love is sticking through the good times and bad with someone. Its like the marriage vow: "To have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth..." And that passion is certainly one of the greatest. To endure one another's temper tantrums. To tolerate one's character flaws, to forgive his/her wrongdoings, to react with gentleness rather than anger when your partner snores, kicks, spazzes, causing you a nightmarish sleep... THAT 24/day/365 times a year, times many more years. To love, to care, despite everything. If not love, then what is that? Seriously, divorce rates, breakups would occur so much less if only people knew a little more about what true love means.

Thank you, God, for tolerating my weaknesses, my mistakes, my dumbness. You love me despite all my shortcomings. And thank you God, for giving me a special someone who loves me, and is willing to wait for me, like you. Amen.

Thank you hunny for loving me. With God's grace and help, my passion for Him and for you will not die, and it will burn progrsssively with a youthful ardor, till I breathe my last.
I miss you.

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 00:42:00 GMT

Why should I feel discouraged
and why should the shadows come
why should my heart feel lonely
and long for heaven and home

When Jesus is my portion
a constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches me
He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches
I know He watches,
I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the the sparrow
and I know He watches me
He watches me

His eye is on the sparrow
and I know he watches me
He watches me
He watches me
I know He watches me

I've always found this song kinda funny... "His EYE? Just one???" hahaha.. but its a really moving song, if you look past that fact :)

Extra Period

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 00:38:00 GMT

its been a while since a wrote here.. the past couple of days have been a whirlwind of activities - interviews, the compilation of my company's land portfolio etc.
A small review or a list of highlights of the past couple of days, starting from last friday, would be as follows...
Friday: Worship during Youth Group time was totally Spirit-led. We really didn't have much time to co-ordinate and practice, together with my notorious bad sense of timing, it would've been a bad mix. But God was graceful as usual, ending the worship off on a high with an emotional, yet hopeful song "The Wonderful Cross" (ONE of my favorites)
Thanks Tim, if you're reading this - the sharing was great. I'm always enouraged by your humbleness, and your heart for intercession, i truly miss those times back at Seagram when we would pray together. Everytime we get together and pray now in Toronto, my heart is filled with joy and thankfulness for our friendship. :)
Saturday: was a weird day. I initially had an interview, and also a bball practice, but both were cancelled. I originally planned my whole day around those two activities, but because they were gone i was left with "too much" time and didn't know how to use it! At least I got a good haircut :) Thanks hunny for urging me to get it, i think i'm goin to stick with this place and this barber for a while!
Sunday: The worship was funny, we were singing "His Banner Over Me" and I asked the congregation to write "love" on their hands and raise their hands like a banner to praise God! Didn't work tho. Only Johan actually did it, writing LOVE in chinese on his palm. (thanks bro) I have much to learn about worship dynamics haha...
Mike JR preaching was an awesome experience. He's grabbing hold, and making the most out of every aspect of his life that God had blessed him with. Music, speaking, evangelism, you name it. Thank God for such a brother - its a wakeup call for people like my age :)
One thing I learnt a lot from the AFC bball devotions on sunday night is concerning the "Extra Period" that we so often see in sports. Especially in bball, there's no such thing as a tie. Some teams go up to triple overtimes to decide a winner. But I see the link to human life: we don't get overtime periods. When our time is up, its up. Death knocks at our door everyday, our lives are so fragile. It is only through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we get our "Extra Period", which is heaven. Really, we should live everyday as our last - we don't know when JEsus is coming back, and we don't know when we will die. Thank God I've been given a second chance.
Monday: Went to an interview with RBC Dominion Securities. Got the job!! Thank God and my future mom to be heh. I start work in Jan 11. Thanks for praying for me hunny.

A song that I like a lot: "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" performed by one of my favorite artists, Lauryn Hill. This song is for you, hunny. The lyrics were derived from Matthew 6:25-34 :)

Unfolding...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 13:43:00 GMT

Hands in line
Arms close to my side
I'm fighting tides
Of an ocean's undertows
And i figure that i might not make it out
I'm taking empty
But seldom speaking
and a words retreat
Yeah they breathing histories still at ease
into stories untold
And my arms unfold

My hands are high
And I'm holding on
Holding on
And i figured that I
I figured that i just might make it
And im waking empty
But seldom sleeping
And the words repeat, breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold

See now quality isn't what you see now
In the corner of your eyes
And dont be suprised
If you here the bells ring as they fall from the sky
They sound: bong bong bong bong
But ah yeah yeah yeah
Bong bong bong bong but ah yeah yeah yeah
Oh oh i
And in the night i'm always holding up
Holding up holding up
I'm holding up this time
I'm holding up this time
Cause i figure that i
I figure that i just might make it

And I'm waking empty
But seldom sleeping
And the words repeat
Breathing histories and the stories untold
But I unfold

Do the Fockers use Fructis?

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 10:26:00 GMT

Man, words are so powerful. I guess I feel this more than ever lately - with us studying John 1, I now understand why it makes complete sense that God chose to use the word "Word" to describe His son.
Tonight I was at Shoppers Drug Mart with my sister, and we were trying hard to pick out a shampoo. (we have the habit of trying out a new brand everytime we finish a bottle) and I saw the attractive green bottle of shampoo by the brand of "Fructis". As I told my sister the brand, and repeated the name verbally, this guy walks by me, and all of a sudden, turns his head back and gives me one of those disgusted looks and shakes his head in disapproval. I was wondering for a second and I realized that he probably thought i said "F--- this", which does sound like how i was pronouncing the brand name. He still threw at me disgusted glaces as we passed by each other in the store.
And then there's this movie that came out lately called "Meet the Fockers". Words, whether intentionally or unintentionally, can contain veiled meanings in them, and can act to encourage and build someone up - but equally able to tear someone down.
Consider what James said: "...the tongue is a small part of a body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire..."

" With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?... "

Lord, may you help me control my tongue, that it may be used solely to praise you, to thank you and to speak of your good works. Lord grant me wisdom, so that I can use my tongue to be a spring of healing, a tree of life. Father, help me not fall into the temptation of lying, complaining, cursing, and speaking of words that causes unnecessary misunderstandings and rifts between people. AMen.

Note:
Anyone know how to pronounce the brandname "FRUCTIS" properly? Please give me a call at 647-887-9725 :)

Work VS Ministry VS Life VS Relationships VS A bunch of CRAP

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 15:44:00 GMT

I don't know if you get the gist of my title. I guess the "VS" sets up a challenging tone, me versus you, me against the world. It sure does seem like that at the very moment for me, being stuck in a place where there is plenty of discord, plenty of ill-feelings. I think balance is so hard to find in this world. If you have to dedicate yourself to something, then you've got to give up in another area. One can't be good at everything, nor have the time to. The problem is, I'm a man of wide interests, and I have vast dreams. I feel like I am capable to do many things (well other than things that involve a lot of MATH)... but I don't know what to do. There have been various times when it seems like I have found my niche, my thing, but they have turned out not as successful as it was supposed to - or did I quit too early to even reap the fruits of the seeds that I have sown? Are these STOP signs God, or are these a form of discipline that you are using to gain more intimacy with me, that I rely on you and nobody else? Why does work (school for some), ministry, life, relationships and craps have to be a constant struggle against one another?
Lord I've come to the conclusion that the struggle is an undeniable and inevitable fact of life - and there is no way to get rid of it. Our lives on earth does consist of these things, and only God can help put some harmony and joy in between all those things, especially with the universal 24 hrs/7 days a week He gives us. Even with the bunch of crap that exists between all the other things I've mentioned, we can STILL live a joyful life, a life that is God-honoring, that pleases both man and God. I do think to some degree that the world is hard to bear, that just goes to show that we need to long for our eternal home. But I will not ceaselessly complain about it, for I know this world is of God's creation, and nothing in this world happens without God's permission. And even before all this corruption, Jesus already foretold all this. God still loves the world though, and it is only by embracing the world as it is: "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, IF you LOVE one another"
I think it is by love and grace that we overcome this world, and overcome the emotions that impacts us as Christians. Imagine the feelings of Christians when the gay-marriage law was passed through. Would you rather be the kind of Christian who condemns the gays, who spits venomous curses at them, citing the story of Sodom and Gomorrah at them, or the kind of Christian who would volunteer in AIDS clinics, showing love and compassion for these disease wrecked lives? Which Christian do you think will be living a fuller, joyful, grace-filled life?

Jesus Himself lived among the despised - the harlots, the prostitutes, the panhandlers, lepers. And He simply loved. He simply went on to the cross for us.

I dunno what all these thoughts amount to, they seem to be quite disorganized. All i know is this: "Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world, and delighting in mankind." (Proverbs 8:30-31) God took 7 days to create the universe, 40 years to train Moses, 30 years to train Jesus, more than 60 years to test Joshua and Caleb's faith... I know God loves me and you. And I hope that you will have more patience with me, with others, with yourself, and with God. I have faith that God will continually change me, and change you. Meanwhile, we just need to love, love, love. And I hope you will have the same faith, eventually.

cleanliness

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 07:45:00 GMT

Today i spent a lot of time cleaning up my room... for a while, it has gotten so messy to a point where I could no longer bear it! But then I didn't have time to clean it, and then somehow, as time passes, I got more accustomed to the mess, and did not clean up until yesterday. When I finally put my act together, I realized how much there is to throw away, how many things there are to re-organize. A thought hit me - this could be a mirror of my spiritual life. Sometimes I sin, and even, sin a lot. And the initial reaction would most likely be remorse. A sense of guilt that leads me to ask God for forgiveness, to cleanse my spirit and conscience. But the sins, and the mess slowly accumulates again, and if I don't realize that these small clutters will lead to a big mess, I will get more used to it. Just like how the bible says our hearts get so calloused that we don't realize our sins any longer.

Lord, cleanse me from within. You are the only one who is able and strong to purge me of my mess. In addition to that, Father, I ask that you give me a sense of alertness, an urgency that prompts me to be aware of little messes, and not let it accumulate. Father how amazing you are, teaching me a lesson even through cleaning up. I love you Lord, but help me love you even more. In your most holy name I pray, AMen.

Congratulations to my hunny who got 92% on her midterm. wOoHOooOo! Praise God :)

lelele

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 16:55:00 GMT

Hi this is my first entry... I used to write journals too, but in paper and ink.
I hope I can keep this up. I always read my past journals with fondness, no matter the recorded was good or bad. Thanks for giving me this idea, darling, lelele!

I hope you had a sweet sleep just now and had fun being intimate with Mister S. Bob. I'm jealous!! Haha..

Talk to you later!